Recently, I worked at a rehab center. Being in recovery myself for over 19 years, I liked the presence of this place. The brochures and advertising showed a beautiful place suggesting that they offered unconditional respect. The sad news, is after a few weeks of being there, I began to take note of the lack of respect that was given to the recovering people in treatment. Each time someone wanted certain things or had a valid complaint, I was told “They are addicts-they complain, that’s what they do.”Of course I quit that job within six weeks of being there. I believed that respect needs to be given to these brave people who were fighting on a daily basis to gain control of their lives.
When my mother in-law lay dying of pancreatic cancer, I treated her with respect. If she complained I listened, if she was sad, I comforted her, if she was angry, I became her venting board. She had a disease that was killing her and she deserved respect. Imagine someone suffering from a disease and not showing them unconditional respect.
Alcoholism and drug addiction has been recognized for many years by professional medical organizations as a primary, chronic, progressive and sometimes fatal disease.
Recovery is about re-building your life into a meaningful and satisfying one.
One of the most important things that can help people in recovery is respect. A little sure can go a long way. It should be part of human nature to treat people in the way you would like to be treated yourself. Notice I did not say to treat people the way we were treated, I am suggesting we treat people the way we would like to be treated.
When I was in rehab over 19 years ago, what I liked so much about my treatment center was that no matter what you had or hadn't done in your past, the bottom line was if you are in recovery, then you are to be respected. People in recovery often leave a mangled path of destruction and distrust. Therefore a good part of our recovery is to begin to feel respected and eventually trusted once again.
Treating people with respect makes our world a nicer place to live in. Best part, it's easy - all you have to do is treat people the way you like to have them treat you. Here are a few ideas.
Don't insult people or make fun of them.
Listen to others when they speak.
Value other people's opinions.
Be considerate of people's likes and dislikes.
Don't mock or tease people.
Don't talk about people behind their backs.
Be sensitive to other people's feelings.
Don't pressure someone to do something he or she doesn't want to do.
Don't be judgmental or be around those who judge.
Be a good listener.
Respect yourself if you want others to respect you.
Recovery encompasses an individual's whole life, including mind, body, spirit and community. Recovery embraces all aspects of life. It is not a step-by-step process but is one based on continual growth with occasional setbacks and learning from experience. It is what I call earth school 101. Recovery begins with an initial stage of awareness in which a person recognizes that positive change is possible. This awareness enables the person in recovery to move on to fully engage in life. That process alone deserves the up most respect.
Recovery focuses on valuing and building on the multiple capacities, resiliencies, talents, coping abilities, and inherent worth of individuals. By building on these strengths, people can engage in new life roles. The process of recovery moves forward through interaction with others in supportive and respect based relationships.
If you feel disrespected by family, friends, loved ones, doctors, therapists and yes even treatment centers, please by all means, seek help else where. If the people places, settings and events in your life does not respect you and your process, that means people are not honoring your recovery. Look for rehab centers, friends, and support systems that make respect a priority. Respect in recovery is a break through we need to acknowledge.
